Chapter 21: Thinking

I sat on my bed holding Austin's picture. We had gone to the Ravenview Science Center for a date to look at the exhibits one night and had our picture taken. I kept hoping he'd call or show up one day. The police still hadn't found his body, so it was possible he was still alive somewhere. I hoped he wasn't being held captive or tortured.

I needed a change. The last thing I remember thinking when I left the old house was that I hated myself. I needed a new style. Maybe if I change my appearance I will feel better, at least for a little while. I couldn't afford to fall in love again. I didn't want another man to suffer because of me. I needed to become mysterious and stop giving my heart away to people, only to have it come back shattered. I opened my dresser and took out my mom's letter to me.

Thirty-two children. That's how many she had. Christian's daughter had five. One of my ancestors had twenty. So far my mother had the most, and that still wasn't enough. I had seven, and I was already having a breakdown. My mother must have been much stronger than me. I'm going to succumb to my fate and live the rest of my days alone. I wish I knew what succumb to my fate meant, although I had a sinking feeling it meant suicide. Christian didn't know what happened to our mother either. Maybe the funeral home would have some answers. Her death had only happened three years ago so they might still have records.

When I got there, a handsome young man greeted me. His shirt was halfway open, which I found really sexy. He had a bunch of piercings. I was particularly drawn to the one on his lower lip. I wanted to kiss him badly.

"Hi, my name is Drake. How can I help you?"

You can help me by taking that shirt off, I thought. Instead, I smiled politely and replied, "I am looking for some information about my mother who is buried here."

"What's the name?"

"Albany Zenteri."

"Ok, follow me to my office. I'll get the file."

I watched Drake's ass as he walked in front of me, picturing myself grabbing it. His pants were tight fitting, accentuating his perfectly shaped butt.

"Have a seat."

I sat down and he turned around again, searching for the files in his filing cabinet. He pulled out a book and set it down on the table.

"This is the record book for the funeral home. Here is the page with details about Albany Zenteri."

Name: Albany Zenteri
Date of Death: September 18, 2010
Burial or Cremation: Burial
Funeral or Immediate Burial: Immediate
Open Casket or Closed: N/A, No Funeral Held
Cause of Death: Fire
Contact: Sicily Zenteri for questions regarding funeral arrangements

My mother had died from a fire? Was it one she set herself? Did she get caught in one on accident? Once again, more questions than answers. The story of my life.

"Miss? Are you all right?"

I turned to see Drake looking at me with those silvery blue eyes.

"I never knew how my mom died. This is new to me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Thank you for letting me see those records."

"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes," I replied, kissing Drake square on the lips. Surprisingly, he put his arms around me and kissed me back. I pulled his shirt open and touched him all over his body.

There was nothing romantic about this, but I still felt a satisfaction from doing it. I pushed him up against his filing cabinet.

"Whoa. You're rough."

"You got a problem with that?" I asked, taking my shirt off.

"No, not at all."

I continued kissing Drake, darting my tongue in and out of his mouth while sucking on his lips. His lip ring was cold, but nice. I was getting so hot. He got my message and undressed me. I climbed up on him and we went at it for a while next to his filing cabinet. "Desk," I said in between thrusts.

I got off him, and he swiped everything off his desk. He laid me down and felt me up. His touch felt good, but I wanted, needed to be the one in control. I put my leg around him and sat on top of him. I continued kissing him roughly, running my fingers through his hair. He breathed heavily in my ear.

"Ooh, you're hot," he said in between gasps.

"I know."

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Guest Starring: Drake Studley by winterbaby20