Chapter 12: Family

Shit. The day I had been dreading was finally here. I knew it was inevitable. I mean, nobody stays pregnant forever. I had such mixed feelings today. I wanted to get the baby out of me, but I didn't want to deal with the baby. What if it was a girl and she wanted to know about her father? How could I tell her that her father was a man who liked to hurt women? She would probably never trust men, and I would feel like I ruined her life. Would she believe me if I told her there were good men out there too? I tried to give myself a pep talk in my mind. Come on, Sicily, you've had four kids who've had a good life, you know how to do this.  In the taxi on the way to the hospital, I called Christian and asked him if he would be there for the birth. Maybe his support would help me through this.

Christian held my hand the entire delivery. I had a little boy whom I named Cairo.  I was relieved the baby was a boy, but I was still an emotional wreck. When I got home, I asked Christian if he wouldn't mind taking the baby. I sat on the couch, unsure of what to do. Christian came downstairs and sat with me.

"Hey, Sicily, are you all right? How are you dealing with all of this?"

"I'm not dealing very well, actually."

I started hyperventilating. I didn't know why I was still freaking out because I really was happy the baby was a boy.

"Deep breath, Sicily. Calm down."

"Whooo..." I exhaled, and it seemed to ease my anxiety, giving me a chance to think. I was nervous about what I was about to say to my brother. "I am afraid, Christian. I am afraid I'll purposely neglect this baby because I can't deal with what happened." I put my hand on my chest to try to calm my nerves.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm scared he'll ask about his dad and then I'll have to think about it again. I'm also a little scared he'll turn out like his dad. Can evil be inherited?"

"Oh, Sicily, I don't think he could possibly become evil with you as his mother. You've always been a caring person."

"You know me better than I know you, don't you?"

"Yeah. You were born when I was in high school. I spent many days baby sitting you. By the time you were born, Mom was very much a loner. She was always hanging out by herself. You were a toddler when I moved out."

"Why don't I remember you?"

"I think you were just too young."

"Were you close with Mom?"

"Not really. Mom did entrust me with some tasks though. She gave me a Hide-A-Key rock that I was supposed to give you."

"That was you? Why didn't you stick around and say hi?"

"When Mom gave me the rock, she told me that I couldn't let you know it was me until after you found it. She was always so mysterious, and I will never forget the look in her eyes when she told me. There was this longing, like it was extremely important I follow her instructions to a T."

"Hmm. That's ok. You're in my life now. Christian, will you stay over tonight? I'd feel better if you were in the house with me."

"Sure, no problem, sis."

"Thank you."

Christian smiled at me. I felt better after talking to him. Maybe I could do this. Christian and I had turned out okay despite our bizarre childhoods. I was way more involved in my kids' lives than my mother had been, so maybe Christian was right. If I taught Cairo how to be a good person, he wouldn't have to end up like his father. I went upstairs and picked up Cairo.

"Hello, my little baby. You're all mine. I love you, Cairo."

It had been a long time since I'd told anyone I loved them. I was sure my kids all knew that I did. The sound of police sirens outside my house snapped me out of my peaceful reunion with Cairo. What the berry? I made my way to the front door to investigate. I walked into the front yard and saw Abriola getting out of the police car.

"Abriola? Do you want to explain to me what is going on here?"

"Why don't you explain to me why you're such a slut, Mother?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! Slut."

Abriola ran into the house laughing. I stood in the yard, shocked at her behavior. Here I was worried about Cairo, and Abriola had been hating me this whole time. She had never lashed out at me like that before. She had always been a good kid. I didn't know what the berry had gotten into her.

"Abriola, I would appreciate if you didn't call me a slut. At least tell me why you feel that way. Have I not been a good mother to you?"

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I had the worst day today. I had to do this school project and the berryholes I had to work with were so lazy. I swear I did all the research and they took credit for it! Then I ran into Barium and he was flirting with that girl again. I want someone too, so I was jealous. I was really stressed out, so I went to the hatchery to look at all the little fish. Then the police came and here we are. To answer your question, you are a good mother. I love you. I just wonder why you're always bringing home another baby. I know you're not adopting because the babies either have your hair or your eyes."

"Abriola, my life is complicated. Our family history causes me to bring babies home all the time. The girls in our family are destined to do this."

"Like in our DNA?"

"Kind of," I lied. It was the best way I could explain this to her without sounding like a crazy person.

"Does that mean I'll do that when I grow up?"

"Well, sweetie, I'm hoping to figure out the mystery and make it so you won't have to. I want you to be able to have a normal family."

"Aww, Mom. I like our family."

"That may be, and I love our family too, but nobody needs to go through this. I'm sorry you had such a bad day."

"It's ok. I'm sorry I was such a brat. I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, babe."