Chapter 48: Stuck

I'm tired and I just don't get school. I get bored when the teacher talks and the subjects don't interest me. I like to cook, so I watch the cooking channel a lot and I've learned a lot of recipes. Today at school I got a D on my English test. I don't know what to do. Teachers keep yelling at me to study more. They think I'm lazy and don't want to try. I really don't want to go inside the house yet. Berry. I hear footsteps. I hope Mom and Tennan don't yell at me. I'm not ready to tell anyone about my grades.

"Iveron?"

It's Mom. I remember her being really upset at Francesca, I'm scared I'll make her just as upset.

---

I walked up to the house and saw Iveron outside the gate. He was hunched over and he looked like he might be crying.

"Yes, Mom?"

"Honey, why are you standing out in the yard?"

Iveron looked nervous and uneasy. He touched his neck and looked off into the distance, closing his eyes. He sighed loudly, and remained speechless. After a minute of silence, he finally spoke.

"Mom, please don't be mad at me..."

"Iveron, what's wrong?"

Iveron clasped his hands in front of his stomach and tried to look at me, but he was having trouble making eye contact. He started twiddling his thumbs and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes darting wildly back and forth.

"I- may have, uh-"

I only heard him say he may have done something. The rest of his sentence was a barely audible mumble. Something was really bothering him, so I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know that I loved him.

"Sweetie, I am your mother. You can tell me anything. It's going to be okay, whatever it is. We can get through it together."

"I failed my English test. My teachers are always yelling at me to improve my grades and try harder, but that's the thing. I am trying! Maybe I'm just stupid."

That was it? I thought he had done something utterly horrible with how fidgety he was acting. I was a little angry with his teachers for making him feel that way about himself. Don't they know how fragile teenagers are?

"Honey, look at me. You are NOT stupid."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, Iveron. If you need help with your English class, I can tutor you. Ok?"

"Oh wow, Mom. Really?"

"Of course. What would make you think I wouldn't want to help you?"

"I don't know. I just saw how mad you were at Francesca, and I thought you would be really mad at me too."

"What Francesca did was much more serious than doing badly in school."

To my surprise, Iveron gave me a hug and put his head on my shoulder. I didn't think a teenage boy would want to hug his mother in public, but I was glad he did.

Iveron consistently asked for help with his homework after our little talk. I was happy to help him. His grades improved significantly and although he didn't get straight A's, he wasn't failing anymore. I knew he didn't like school, but I was very glad he was doing the best he could. Besides, just because he wasn't good with his schoolwork didn't mean he wasn't interested in anything. Iveron was very talented at cooking. We went to the grocery store together because he wanted to prepare a family dinner for us. I let him pick out everything that he needed. He made a salmon filet with lemon sauce and asparagus. It was delicious. I thought I was a good cook, but Iveron blew me away with his dish.

Oh, my best friend, the toilet. I sighed and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Ew.

Thoughts ran through my head like a hamster on a wheel. I think I had the same problem I did with Dallas and Austin. Only now it was between Gustave and the gym guy. I hoped it wasn't Gustave so that nothing bad would happen to him. I dreaded the day he might visit me because I knew that since I loved him, the curse would find a way to make him go away, and usually not in a way that favored me. That was the logical part of my mind. The romantic part of my mind wanted to hold Gustave close to me and be with him. He would take all my problems away and I'd be a normal girl.

The fish were literally hopping in this lake today. Several times a really big one would leap up and do a couple of back flips before diving back into the water. It was a fun sight to see, especially for an angler like me. I wondered if Gustave did any fishing. I could teach him. After all, he had taught me some things, like how to make wine and the song that he sang to me that night at the cafe. I was still worried that the baby I was carrying might be his. I didn't want to think that I might bring pain upon him like I did to Trent and Austin.

When would this nightmare end? I wish Tennan knew more about my task that I was supposed to complete, but it made complete sense that Eleanor would keep that to herself. I don't know how someone could be such a bitch. Maybe there was more research I could do that would give me more clues.

"Sicily."

"Tennan? Where are you?"

"In your mind."

Oh! Hey Tennan! This is kind of a cool way to communicate. What's up?

"I noticed you wanted to know more of your family's history."

Yeah, I think I love Gustave, but I don't want to lose him. It made me think there's got to be more that I, that we, don't know.

"History hasn't been revealing a whole lot to me lately. Sorry about that. Is there any particular part you are curious about? Maybe if you give me a year, I can travel there and look around."

Hmm.. that's a good thought. I am curious what my mom did after my dad died. I don't know what year that is, though.

"That's ok. You gave me enough details that I know when that is. I'll send you what I can."

Thank you, Tennan.

"You're welcome."

---

Dear Gustave,
Bonjour, my love. I did have safe travels back home. I would like to thank you for curing my loneliness. The reason I went to France is because I was at a breaking point in my life and I needed to find hope again. You gave me that hope. I am sorry it took so long for me to tell you how I feel about you, but I like you too, Gustave. Thank you for making me feel once more. Will write again soon.
Love, Sicily