Chapter 63: Rivalry

On the bus today, Helena was looking rather... peeved about something. I didn't know why she had her panties all in a bunch, but she kept glaring at me. Little did I know, I was about to find out because as soon as we walked in the front door, she got all up in my face.

"Maximus! I saw you making out with a blonde girl today! Aren't you dating Jessica? Jessica is definitely not blonde!"

I'm not dating Jessica. Duh... I don't do relationships and mushy crap. 

"Uh... maybe Jess dyed her hair."

"Don't go all smart ass on me, Max! Girls are not objects to be played with! You can't just go breaking people's hearts all the time!"

Why do girls always have to go the lovey dovey route? Can't they just enjoy sex? Besides, I always practice safe sex, I'm not looking to ruin anyone's life with a baby. Sex is fun. If they'd just see it for what it is, they wouldn't be broken hearted. They know my reputation already so what's the big deal?

"Whatever, Helena. Do you have PMS or something?"

"ARGH! Max! Girls can get angry for reasons other than that! That just goes to show you know nothing about women! If you would just pay atten-"

Yeah, it's time to walk away. I turned around and left, still hearing Helena continue to yell, raising her voice as if that would make me come back. Helena's jealous, she likes to be the center of attention, but she can't be when I'm around. Her cheerleader friends all drool over me, which drives her crazy. I have to laugh because I don't even have to try for any of those girls, they just throw themselves at me. These hot tub jets are amazing. Sometimes Helena acts like my mother more than Mom does. I've gotten the vibe from Mom that she's laid back and way more understanding about stuff than Helena. There's no other woman like her. The girls at school are all uptight, like Helena. If I don't call them back the next day they get all crazy. I'm used to girls yelling at me, but I don't get why they do. I never tell them I'm serious about them, so I don't know why they think I would call them back.

Maybe Helena just needs to get laid. Not that I want to think about this, but Mom gets laid quite a lot and she's always in a good mood. When Helena lectures me, which is quite often, I always hear her talking about how she wants to save herself for marriage. Psssh. I don't even know where she gets that idea. Mom's not married, and she's happy. Helena always wants to be a regular family, meaning she wants Mom to find her dad and marry him. Mom and her don't get along because I've heard Mom say she can't marry him, something about some family curse. Helena calls her crazy and then gets even more upset. I don't know who my dad is and I'm not worried about it. I did ask Mom, and she said he was a guy named Alex whom she met on an airplane. I think it's awesome that he passed his good looks on to me. Sometimes I feel sad for Mom, I think she tries the best she can to give Helena and I a good life, and Helena just keeps ragging on her. I'm happy with life, even if it's not quote unquote normal. Single parents aren't bad, and I think Mom's doing a great job.

I'm really happy it's Saturday because I don't have to do my homework right away like I do on weeknights. Oh, what? You're surprised that I do my homework? Why? Cause I don't wear nerdy glasses and my hair's pink? Yeah, I get that a lot. The pink is natural, by the way.  I break stereotypes, and I think that's another reason Helena can't stand me. A lot of times I help her with her science homework because she has a tough time. Just cause Helena gets on my case doesn't mean I don't love her. She's trying to get into a university and she's all stressed about it because she has to do well in everything, including science, for them to give her a chance. I told her to just go be a jock since she's been on the cheerleading squad her entire high school life. She told me they don't give scholarships to cheerleaders with bad grades. 

I'm starting to get pruny hands. I guess it's time to go inside. Splashing around in the hot tub is so awesome. I'm glad I don't have to go very far to have so much fun. I get out of the hot tub and dry myself off with my towel, heading back into the house. Helena's there, rolling her eyes at me as usual. I wish she would just quit being a sour puss. She's still annoyed that I kissed that girl... uh, what's her name. Now that I've relaxed a little bit, I sit at the table to do my homework. Helena joins me.

"God, Max, would you put on a shirt?"

"Why? I just came in from the hot tub. Plus, I don't want to yet."

"What the hell is chlorophyll?"

"It's the pigment that makes plants green."

"How can you see through those sunglasses?"

"It's bright enough. How can you sit with that stick up your ass? OW! What the fuck, Helena?"

I think Helena just stepped on my foot. Why is she such a bitch sometimes? Girls are more mature, my ass.

"God, shut up, Max. How do you spell photo, uh, photo..."

"Photosynthesis? P-H-O-T-O-Synthesis."

"Geez. That's a lot of help."

"S-Y-N-T-H-E-S-I-S. There, are you happy now?"

"I'd be happier if you weren't such a jackass."

"Ha-ha. You need me to get into your precious university."

"Are you going to go to a university when you get older, Max?"

"No."

"You're smart enough."

"So? That doesn't mean I want to."

"Aren't you worried you won't get a good job?"

"I don't worry about shit. I just live my life."

"Your looks aren't going to last forever, dumbass, eventually you're going to have to work for something."

"Shut up, Helena. Who says I don't work for stuff? I'm the one who's got straight As, remember? Don't hate me cause I'm attractive."

As usual, I finish my homework before Helena does. I stick around in case she needs more help, even though her stupid face drives me crazy. Her hair is too big for her head, I think as I look at her be all confused by the words on the paper. Maybe that metric ton of hairspray she uses makes her worry about everything all the time.

After Helena's done with her homework I see some flashes of light through the windows. I guess it's a paparazzi dude taking pictures. Mom's famous so we often have paparazzi loitering on our property. At least this one's not whining about the locked gate. It's really annoying when I wake up to yelling outside the house. It's like the gate's locked, go away, duh. Not surprisingly, Mom goes outside to talk to the guy. She's pretty friendly with people. I hope I can move my bed or at least the crib, apparently my old crib, if Mom has another baby. I don't want to be in here with a screaming baby. We don't have any other rooms in our house, sadly, so we'd probably have to make an addition to our house. Overall it's been a pretty normal day in my life. I go to sleep with thoughts of being prom king even though I'm not anywhere near graduation. How could they not name me prom king, though, when the time comes? I'm Maximus fucking Zenteri-Hunt.